We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where…
i hate when ppl make fun of me for trying 2 be positive and spread good vibes like fuck your bitter ass i spent a good portion of my short life being bitter and angry and suicidal if i wanna shoot sunshine out of my ass then i fuckin will
Neil deGrasse Tyson in response to “Aliens can’t exist because we haven’t found them yet” (via samuraifuckingfrog)
TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)
Still travelling vancouver!!
Made friends with the security guard/parking attendant at Burger King, jokingly asked for free food. Got free poutine!
Rolled 100 cigarettes, and went walking around to offer them to people. Got traded a lighter, $5, a drawing, a valid bus ticket, many hugs, and an unopened beer. I wasn’t even asking for anything!
Gave a couple rolled cigarettes to travelling folk from Quebec, they gave me bong tokes in return ^.^ On the street, outside 711. I love this country.
Bought a sweet little bmx for $120. Gonna swap out the handlebars but it’s gorgeous.
Bought a road bike for $50. Everything’s perfect except the pedals (damn clip-ins) and one gear shifter.
Rode my bike all down east Hastings at 11pm, think I have enough artistic inspiration for a while now.
Big day, great day. Goodnight all!!!
Had a nice moment today.
Finished all my oxycotin, had a nice zombie walk/sleep in stanley park. Met a lot of homeless folk, shared my apples (I bought 10) and smokes with them. Got to talking. Got on the subject of suicide.
Realized I used to tell myself all the time, that if it ever got too hard I could just kill myself. So I was never afraid of anything, because there was always a way out.
I was/am in so much pain. The only thing I fear is not being able to continue doing the things I enjoy. Not being able to ride my bike for hours, not being able to travel, not being able to walk around confident in my ability to defend myself.
I do still have that way out. In the past, if I were in that much pain, and a possible future of a slow recovery, I would have killed myself then and there. (I’ve tried and failed enough times anyway).
But I think that’s the point.
I’m here. I want to be here. The pain is just another sensation, same as the hunger, or the cold. Same as the happiness, the heat, the excitement, the comfort…
I wanted to be outside my comfort zone. This is uncomfortably painful and outside my comfort zone. I have succeeded.
I have never been happier. I have never felt freer.
One of the guys I was talking to said I’d left him with the memory of a lifetime. I hope I remember this.
cuddling is so perfect when you think about it because you get really close to someone you love and it’s like saying “hey human, theres a lot of humans in the world but you’re my human and i love you”
birthdays are so weird
you get presents for slowly dying
Adventure cyclist Mike Hall from a profile in RoadCyclingUK (via cadenced)
In vancouver! Rode this far on my bike, took me over 6 hours
Ended up in the hospital and they gave me oxycotin
Yeah then someone stole my bike
But I’m on a hunt to find a new one!